It's a New Year

I'm not sure if anyone even reads this blog, but it's a great way to vent frustrations and talk about how I'm feeling. Last week, was not a great week for me. Sophie got sick, and I've been feeling off since a couple days after she was sick. I have just been blah; not motivated to do anything. I can barely get out of bed let alone get up enough energy to do housework. Matt totally does not understand and isn't helping the situation at all. I am hoping that a lot of it is stress and anxiety about Matt's court hearing tomorrow even though it should be a no fuss hearing. I think a lot of it also has to do with worrying about finances and how we're going to pay the bills since Matt is the one making all the money right now. It's very hard and stressful when you are literally living paycheck to paycheck. Who would have thought a year ago that we would be in this situation.

I have to keep reminding myself though that God is in control and knows what is best for us. Satan is trying to get a foothold, but it is not going to work. I am firmly standing my ground in trusting God through all of this even though that is hard to do at times. It is very hard to not ask, "Why me?" But, I have to keep thinking, "Why not me?" It is God's way of refining his saints into something purer and better. God has a purpose in this, we just have to wait to see what it is even though the waiting is hard and long. We must continue to look for the blessings that God is giving us during this time. We are blessed to have family and lots of friends and acquaintances that support us. It would be far harder if we didn't have a support system, and if we didn't have the Lord. It looks like we are in this for the long haul. I just pray that God gives us the strength to continue on and not let this little bump in the road keep us from living our lives the way that he wants us to. We cannot put our lives on hold just because of a little speedbump. We must live every day like it is our last no matter what the future may bring. We cannot let this rule our lives and keep us from living. God has promised that he will not give us more than we can bear, and I am holding fast to that promise. I have also been standing on the promise of Romans 8:28 since this all began. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." God has not promised us that life will be easy, and in reality it probably seems harder for those of us that are Christians because Satan is working very hard to pull us away from God. I cannot imagine going through this without God on my side. He is our refuge and our strength. A present help in times of trouble. I believe that we will get through this and that we will come out victorious in the end. We just have to wait on God and wait on his timing. Thank you dear Jesus for dying on the cross for our sins. It is not the Jews who put you on that cross, but we, the sinners, of the world.