Argh, I just have to vent somewhere. Why is it that I am always the one that ends up changing the most drastically? I am trying really hard to be supportive, understanding and meeting my husband's needs. So, why is it that he can't seem to do the same for me after saying that he is going to? I hate to complain, but I feel like I am the only one trying to change. I have lost count of the times that we have talked about this same exact thing and yet the same thing happens every single time. He's always saying that if such and such happens in our marriage then such and such will just naturally follow. Well, I'm sorry, but it never has and still isn't. I am tired, discouraged and feeling defeated. I am at a loss as to what to do because it doesn't seem to sink in to him no matter how much we talk about it. This whole mess has brought us closer in many ways, but some things just never seem to change. I need to stay in continual prayer in this area as it is something I continually struggle with. I can only control myself, so I need to adjust my attitude and realize that I am the only one who can make me happy. I cannot count on anyone else to make me happy. They can only add to my happiness. I just needed to get that off my chest as my feelings are really getting to me these past few days. It is not good to keep them pent up inside. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We need them for more than just the current circumstances. Thank you for being there for me and for us. Well, I am off to bed.
P.S. I did not type this to dis my husband but to share how I am feeling, so please don't take this the wrong way. My blog is the only way to get things off my chest as there is no one close-by that I feel free to share such things with. So, please respect my privacy and do not share this with anyone else. Thanks.
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